My mom and I Skype at least once a week. It will start with a Facebook message from her saying "Good morning," followed by some emojis: a coffee cup, and sunflower, and probably a smiley face. Then it's your usual catch up with a side of gossip, and when I'm feeling really down, it's a whole lot of cheerleading on her end.
A couple of weeks into January, I get just such a Facebook message, but this time, she adds "I have some news." Now, she never adds to her message. If there is news, she'll save it for when we start to video chat. So what could it possibly be??? What is this big news that invites such a tease???
My Polish horoscope for 2017.
It said that I will achieve happiness and success in both my career and my love life. January would be difficult, and I would be dealing with a lot of stress. I would be losing sleep and I would have days where I would feel wretched. But come February, things would happen...
Well. January was wretched.
With Brexit unfolding, I was suddenly faced with the very real possibility that I would not be able to stay in London a year from now. With one year left in London, what was I doing? Working 40+ hours at a pub, doing nothing creative, being exhausted on my days off and so not wanting to do anything except watch dumb TV. I'm a 26 year old girl with some wit and charm! And I was wasting away in my 10 X 10 room in South Woodford. There was actually a Sunday where my boss sent me home at 3pm because she could see that I was worn out and not myself. Let me put that in perspective; Sunday is by far our busiest day of the week what with Sunday Roasts, and 3 o'clock is right smack in the middle of our rush. And she sent me home not as a punishment but as a mercy. It was a command to put my "feet up and drink some wine." Yes, that's a direct quote.
I hadn't been to an audition since August. And so what was I doing in London? Every time I come back from Canada, I am filled with such incredible homesickness. It's because I'm so close with my family! Even when I spent two months with my parents last year while waiting for my visa to come through, I never got tired of it. Granted, I wasn't working... I was lounging around the house, reading and spending time with everyone. If I were there with a job, working enough hours to support myself, I know that I wouldn't feel as much peace. But regardless, as of now, it's still always so difficult to come back to London where I'm single, and where my friends are spread across the city. Where our schedules make it rather difficult to see each other. Now at this point, I was still feeling particularly blue about life after the Christmas debacle at the pub; it was just so crazy busy that I dreaded each day and one fateful Saturday, I burst into tears and had a nervous break down.
But that's the past.
:)
I started to think about finding a new job. I wanted to find something that had more creative energy to it - probably something to do with writing. But I kept putting off actually researching what other jobs are out there. LAZY. And being comfortable. I had a good job! It was good money and more importantly to us actor-types, it was supportive. When I took a management position, my boss told me that she completely understood that acting was my first priority, and if something came along - whether it be an audition or a job - I just need to tell her and we'd make it work. I think it's pretty rare to find an arrangement like that...
So come January 31st, I decided to not bother looking. To be grateful for what I had and to make it work. And not waste my time researching possible second jobs, but to focus on researching ways to make my first job more prominent.
And then February 1st hit, and I got an audition. A pretty important audition. So important that I had to sign a non-disclosure, so can't really give you more details... but it was a high profile project with a pretty big casting director as well. The role was a bit of a stretch; they were looking for someone of age to play 14 years old! But it was an opportunity none the less, and it was a chance to meet this unmentionable casting director.
Then BAM! Within six hours, I get another audition. Two auditions in one week! That has never happened before!
All the while, I had been researching acting groups that I could get involved with, looking for some kind of creative environment I could fuel my creativity with. This second audition was for a training video, funded by the British Council, and when I looked at the Casting Network's audition ticket to find an address, all I found was a map which I was hoping was inaccurate. The pin was near Ealing Broadway - quite far out. The pin was over a place called The Director's Cut, and when I started poking around on the website to see if it was likely for an audition to take place there, instead, I found the Actor's Club.
A club where actors meet every two weeks for a workshop - voice, movement or acting based. Just a chance to meet up and share in something that'll sharpen the craft. It runs in tandem with the Writer's Club and the Director's Club, and at the end of a four month term, there'll be a showcase where the writers' work is directed by the directors and acted by the actors. Just a giant community! Perfect!!!
So I sent off my application, and got myself an audition on Valentine's Day.
On February 13th, I got the news that I landed the job for the British Council. One week of filming the following week!
An hour after that, I got another audition for the 15th!
And an hour after that, I received an email that there was on audio recording day on the 15th for the British Council film.
So.
On the 14th, I went to my Actors Club audition and ran straight to work for a double shift, essentially an open to close.
On the 15th, I had audio recording in the morning, then ran to my audition, then ran to the doctor's (an appointment I had already cancelled twice, so really didn't want to cancel again) and then ran to work a 6 to close.
Had Thursday to catch up on sleep and start learning my lines for a 123 page script.
Was meant to have Friday off, but since I needed nearly the whole next week off for filming, went in to cover a shift as a favour in return of a favour.
Open to close on Saturday.
Start filming on Sunday.
I've been getting up at 6 am every morning since (it's now Thursday) for an 8 am call. Hair and make up done. Working under hot lights. Spending a lot of time in the freezing cold green room. Finishing at 6 pm. Battling the tube during rush hour. Battling a tube strike on Tuesday (grrr). Home by 7 pm, in bed by 9 pm, and falling asleep very soon after.
Rinse and repeat.
And I am loving every single second of it.
I've got one more day of filming, and I'm back to the pub the very next day. I want to cry at the thought! Yes, it is hard work and long dayd and I'm exhausted, but I can't believe that it's already over. The pub seems a world away, like it's a past life.
God, acting is so what I'm meant to be doing! I forget, sometimes. Whenever I'm in one of those long stretches of zero work, I forget why I want it so badly. And then a (relatively) tiny project comes along, and I go weak in the knees.
I just love acting.
I love the families that are created, seeing so many people working toward one end, I love corpsing and really struggling to keep it together, and then breaking down once you get the take because you've been holding in laughter for so long. I love the inside jokes, the gallons of coffee, the mounds of chocolate.
And of course just the job itself. Imaging someone else, and becoming that person. Finding their habits, their likes and dislikes, their nervous ticks, how they play with a pen when they're sitting in a boring business meeting...
I always half-seriously make new year's resolutions. I like to read my horoscopes to feel better and to find a bit of hope...
... but... I don't know... so far, this one has been pretty accurate.
Is this my year?
A couple of weeks into January, I get just such a Facebook message, but this time, she adds "I have some news." Now, she never adds to her message. If there is news, she'll save it for when we start to video chat. So what could it possibly be??? What is this big news that invites such a tease???
My Polish horoscope for 2017.
It said that I will achieve happiness and success in both my career and my love life. January would be difficult, and I would be dealing with a lot of stress. I would be losing sleep and I would have days where I would feel wretched. But come February, things would happen...
Well. January was wretched.
With Brexit unfolding, I was suddenly faced with the very real possibility that I would not be able to stay in London a year from now. With one year left in London, what was I doing? Working 40+ hours at a pub, doing nothing creative, being exhausted on my days off and so not wanting to do anything except watch dumb TV. I'm a 26 year old girl with some wit and charm! And I was wasting away in my 10 X 10 room in South Woodford. There was actually a Sunday where my boss sent me home at 3pm because she could see that I was worn out and not myself. Let me put that in perspective; Sunday is by far our busiest day of the week what with Sunday Roasts, and 3 o'clock is right smack in the middle of our rush. And she sent me home not as a punishment but as a mercy. It was a command to put my "feet up and drink some wine." Yes, that's a direct quote.
I hadn't been to an audition since August. And so what was I doing in London? Every time I come back from Canada, I am filled with such incredible homesickness. It's because I'm so close with my family! Even when I spent two months with my parents last year while waiting for my visa to come through, I never got tired of it. Granted, I wasn't working... I was lounging around the house, reading and spending time with everyone. If I were there with a job, working enough hours to support myself, I know that I wouldn't feel as much peace. But regardless, as of now, it's still always so difficult to come back to London where I'm single, and where my friends are spread across the city. Where our schedules make it rather difficult to see each other. Now at this point, I was still feeling particularly blue about life after the Christmas debacle at the pub; it was just so crazy busy that I dreaded each day and one fateful Saturday, I burst into tears and had a nervous break down.
But that's the past.
:)
I started to think about finding a new job. I wanted to find something that had more creative energy to it - probably something to do with writing. But I kept putting off actually researching what other jobs are out there. LAZY. And being comfortable. I had a good job! It was good money and more importantly to us actor-types, it was supportive. When I took a management position, my boss told me that she completely understood that acting was my first priority, and if something came along - whether it be an audition or a job - I just need to tell her and we'd make it work. I think it's pretty rare to find an arrangement like that...
So come January 31st, I decided to not bother looking. To be grateful for what I had and to make it work. And not waste my time researching possible second jobs, but to focus on researching ways to make my first job more prominent.
And then February 1st hit, and I got an audition. A pretty important audition. So important that I had to sign a non-disclosure, so can't really give you more details... but it was a high profile project with a pretty big casting director as well. The role was a bit of a stretch; they were looking for someone of age to play 14 years old! But it was an opportunity none the less, and it was a chance to meet this unmentionable casting director.
Then BAM! Within six hours, I get another audition. Two auditions in one week! That has never happened before!
All the while, I had been researching acting groups that I could get involved with, looking for some kind of creative environment I could fuel my creativity with. This second audition was for a training video, funded by the British Council, and when I looked at the Casting Network's audition ticket to find an address, all I found was a map which I was hoping was inaccurate. The pin was near Ealing Broadway - quite far out. The pin was over a place called The Director's Cut, and when I started poking around on the website to see if it was likely for an audition to take place there, instead, I found the Actor's Club.
A club where actors meet every two weeks for a workshop - voice, movement or acting based. Just a chance to meet up and share in something that'll sharpen the craft. It runs in tandem with the Writer's Club and the Director's Club, and at the end of a four month term, there'll be a showcase where the writers' work is directed by the directors and acted by the actors. Just a giant community! Perfect!!!
So I sent off my application, and got myself an audition on Valentine's Day.
On February 13th, I got the news that I landed the job for the British Council. One week of filming the following week!
An hour after that, I got another audition for the 15th!
And an hour after that, I received an email that there was on audio recording day on the 15th for the British Council film.
So.
On the 14th, I went to my Actors Club audition and ran straight to work for a double shift, essentially an open to close.
On the 15th, I had audio recording in the morning, then ran to my audition, then ran to the doctor's (an appointment I had already cancelled twice, so really didn't want to cancel again) and then ran to work a 6 to close.
Had Thursday to catch up on sleep and start learning my lines for a 123 page script.
Was meant to have Friday off, but since I needed nearly the whole next week off for filming, went in to cover a shift as a favour in return of a favour.
Open to close on Saturday.
Start filming on Sunday.
I've been getting up at 6 am every morning since (it's now Thursday) for an 8 am call. Hair and make up done. Working under hot lights. Spending a lot of time in the freezing cold green room. Finishing at 6 pm. Battling the tube during rush hour. Battling a tube strike on Tuesday (grrr). Home by 7 pm, in bed by 9 pm, and falling asleep very soon after.
Rinse and repeat.
And I am loving every single second of it.
I've got one more day of filming, and I'm back to the pub the very next day. I want to cry at the thought! Yes, it is hard work and long dayd and I'm exhausted, but I can't believe that it's already over. The pub seems a world away, like it's a past life.
God, acting is so what I'm meant to be doing! I forget, sometimes. Whenever I'm in one of those long stretches of zero work, I forget why I want it so badly. And then a (relatively) tiny project comes along, and I go weak in the knees.
I just love acting.
I love the families that are created, seeing so many people working toward one end, I love corpsing and really struggling to keep it together, and then breaking down once you get the take because you've been holding in laughter for so long. I love the inside jokes, the gallons of coffee, the mounds of chocolate.
And of course just the job itself. Imaging someone else, and becoming that person. Finding their habits, their likes and dislikes, their nervous ticks, how they play with a pen when they're sitting in a boring business meeting...
I always half-seriously make new year's resolutions. I like to read my horoscopes to feel better and to find a bit of hope...
... but... I don't know... so far, this one has been pretty accurate.
Is this my year?