New headshots. New roles. New me.
It's been forever since I've written! Obviously. Reason? There's no good one. Laziness mixed being in a funk. But things have gathered over the last couple of weeks, and suddenly I feel refreshed and ready to face the reality of my chosen career: it's a hard life, but every once in a while you bowl a strike. No, that isn't a good analogy. Bowling is something you actively do. Sometimes you... win the lottery.
Not that I've landed a role in a big Hollywood film! But I've landed something big.
First of all, I graduated!!!! With distinction!!!! I'm a distinct master of fancy arts. I'm a distinct master of acting.
When I finished East 15 in May, I told myself that I would take a break from acting. I had my headshots scheduled for August 11th, and that would be my "relaunch." With a good shot, I could represent myself with more confidence to agents. I thought that if I had that in my head and held onto it, the fact that I wasn't acting outside of school wouldn't seem so bad.
But it was bad.
I work at a pub in Islington. Turns out, that neighbourhood is full of actors, directors and writers. I'm very chatty with my tables. It's surprising, actually, considering I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert. But at work, I am on it! And I love it, really. I have my regulars now and we update each other on what's new, where they've been travelling, how my school year ended. It's all genuine, and it feels great. When I meet someone in the industry though, it's like a little hiccup. Mostly I meet directors or photographers, even artists from other mediums (I love talking about different mediums of art because at the end of the day, it's all expression! I love that it takes different shapes...). It's funny when I meet directors. There's this one couple I spoke with and I told them first that I was an actor. When I asked them what they did, it was the wife that spoke up; she explained that she shared drama techniques in the corporate world and that her husband was actually a screenplay writer and director. He was silent and barely looked at me, like he was expecting this waitress/actress to suddenly gush and try and get an acting gig out of it. I don't hold it against him! I actually really get it, that would be the worst. I picked up on that cue of his and I never really brought it up with him. Now they come in all the time and they are both just such lovely people... anyway. I digress.
There is one actress that comes in. The first time I met her, I noticed that she was reading a script, but didn't pry right away. When she went to the washroom, I dropped drinks off at her table and started chatting with her boyfriend (ha! That sounds funny). He said that they were taking a break from running lines. She was an actress, taking classes and working on a character for a scene study. She came back to the table at that point and told me she was working on Abigail Williams from The Crucible. "I played her once!" I said, immediately being thrown back to the summer of 2010. We started to talk through Abigail's motivations, her given circumstances and all of her traits. Suddenly, I felt incredible jealousy. And why?!
Here was this girl who was actively doing something to keep her craft in shape, and I was getting jealous of her, even though I was actively choosing to not do the same. I could take classes (even though I just finished school) but I set myself a timeline. Work and save money, then August 11th I get new shots, and then I go full force. That was my choice. But even still... I remember coming home that night after work. I showered the day off and took blankets and my music into a very warm summer night. I got cozy, settled down with a very large glass of red wine and I smoked a few cigarettes (no, I'm not even a smoker!). I breathed through the situation (yes, I breathed right through the smoke). My choice. I can live with it. Just another month at that point until I met with a photographer. This was the responsible choice. I needed the money.
A little while later, the same actor came in. She was now working on Marlene from Top Girls - another character I played. Jealousy came at me again. I need to beat that out of me! I can't be jealous every time I meet an artist who is working when I'm not. I can't be jealous of my friends when they get a job. I don't want to be that person. I want to be supportive and to share with them the heart and warmth that I have in me. I don't want jealousy to eat away at me until all I have left is bitterness.
Jealousy is vice. Patience is a virtue.
About two weeks ago, an East 15 alumna got in touch with me. Vlada was a year above me, so our paths crossed a few times. I remember seeing her in a production of Les Belles Soeurs that Ros Hutt directed. Ros directed me in Dona Rosita, so Vlada and I had that in common at least. To be honest, I'm not sure that we ever spoke to one another. But for whatever reason, she remembered me when a role opened up on a project she was involved with. She was playing Eva Schloss - stepsister to Anne Frank. Their Anne Frank dropped out because she had a conflict. Vlada thought I would be great for the part. Of Anne Frank.
Anne Frank.
I got in touch with Nic - the director - right away. He was in Sri Lanka, but was eager to cast the part so agreed to an interview over Skype. He told me about the project. I don't want to give too many details here because nothing is set in stone, but I will say that this production will be touring around the world. It's not a scheduled tour, but this guy has incredible connections: top political figures and members of Hollywood kind of connections (Judi Dench and Ian McKellen, for example). He's been doing this show on and off for twelve years and has taken it to Scotland, China and South Africa. For this year he's talking about the U.S. and Sri Lanka. He's done it before so I imagine this isn't just talk! And it pays a little... £100 a performance, which isn't the West End but HELL! it's more than I make at the pub!
After the interview, he said that he was really glad we spoke.He liked my look and the quality of my voice. He was looking for someone who was naturally a bit like Anne: mature for her age while still very girly, authoritative but with the biggest heart. When she walked into a room, all eyes were on her. And he felt that I had those qualities. I was just so humbled to hear that that is the kind of impression that I can make on a person. I dream to be a person of those qualities, and someone felt that after talking with me for about half an hour. I started to feel so good about myself after that conversation. He liked me enough to send me the script. He said he would be in touch over the next couple of days.
So I did a reading. And he offered me the part.
I GOT THE JOB! (nod to any East 15 student who was taught by Christina)
I'm playing Anne Frank.
ANNE FRANK!!!!!!
That's going to be on my CV! The play isn't even about Anne, really. It's about the people who surrounded her throughout her life. But Nic even said that everyone remembers her because it's Anne Frank.
And rehearsals for Liliom are going really well! We open in two weeks and are in great shape!
And I got my new headshots. For the first time in a long time, I feel pretty. I have felt slumpy and ugly and I can now say it, unhappy. Now I feel rejuvenated and beautiful. I feel like I'm glowing.
Ori Jones did my headshots. She's an actor as well, and we spoke a lot about the ups and downs of a career. She said there was no such thing as a big break. People book big Hollywood roles all the time and then are never heard of again. Instead, there are just steps that you're always taking. Well I feel like I've just climbed a bit of a staircase. Who knows if or when I'll come across another, but for now, I have this one.
Relaunch indeed. Here I go.
It's been forever since I've written! Obviously. Reason? There's no good one. Laziness mixed being in a funk. But things have gathered over the last couple of weeks, and suddenly I feel refreshed and ready to face the reality of my chosen career: it's a hard life, but every once in a while you bowl a strike. No, that isn't a good analogy. Bowling is something you actively do. Sometimes you... win the lottery.
Not that I've landed a role in a big Hollywood film! But I've landed something big.
First of all, I graduated!!!! With distinction!!!! I'm a distinct master of fancy arts. I'm a distinct master of acting.
When I finished East 15 in May, I told myself that I would take a break from acting. I had my headshots scheduled for August 11th, and that would be my "relaunch." With a good shot, I could represent myself with more confidence to agents. I thought that if I had that in my head and held onto it, the fact that I wasn't acting outside of school wouldn't seem so bad.
But it was bad.
I work at a pub in Islington. Turns out, that neighbourhood is full of actors, directors and writers. I'm very chatty with my tables. It's surprising, actually, considering I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert. But at work, I am on it! And I love it, really. I have my regulars now and we update each other on what's new, where they've been travelling, how my school year ended. It's all genuine, and it feels great. When I meet someone in the industry though, it's like a little hiccup. Mostly I meet directors or photographers, even artists from other mediums (I love talking about different mediums of art because at the end of the day, it's all expression! I love that it takes different shapes...). It's funny when I meet directors. There's this one couple I spoke with and I told them first that I was an actor. When I asked them what they did, it was the wife that spoke up; she explained that she shared drama techniques in the corporate world and that her husband was actually a screenplay writer and director. He was silent and barely looked at me, like he was expecting this waitress/actress to suddenly gush and try and get an acting gig out of it. I don't hold it against him! I actually really get it, that would be the worst. I picked up on that cue of his and I never really brought it up with him. Now they come in all the time and they are both just such lovely people... anyway. I digress.
There is one actress that comes in. The first time I met her, I noticed that she was reading a script, but didn't pry right away. When she went to the washroom, I dropped drinks off at her table and started chatting with her boyfriend (ha! That sounds funny). He said that they were taking a break from running lines. She was an actress, taking classes and working on a character for a scene study. She came back to the table at that point and told me she was working on Abigail Williams from The Crucible. "I played her once!" I said, immediately being thrown back to the summer of 2010. We started to talk through Abigail's motivations, her given circumstances and all of her traits. Suddenly, I felt incredible jealousy. And why?!
Here was this girl who was actively doing something to keep her craft in shape, and I was getting jealous of her, even though I was actively choosing to not do the same. I could take classes (even though I just finished school) but I set myself a timeline. Work and save money, then August 11th I get new shots, and then I go full force. That was my choice. But even still... I remember coming home that night after work. I showered the day off and took blankets and my music into a very warm summer night. I got cozy, settled down with a very large glass of red wine and I smoked a few cigarettes (no, I'm not even a smoker!). I breathed through the situation (yes, I breathed right through the smoke). My choice. I can live with it. Just another month at that point until I met with a photographer. This was the responsible choice. I needed the money.
A little while later, the same actor came in. She was now working on Marlene from Top Girls - another character I played. Jealousy came at me again. I need to beat that out of me! I can't be jealous every time I meet an artist who is working when I'm not. I can't be jealous of my friends when they get a job. I don't want to be that person. I want to be supportive and to share with them the heart and warmth that I have in me. I don't want jealousy to eat away at me until all I have left is bitterness.
Jealousy is vice. Patience is a virtue.
About two weeks ago, an East 15 alumna got in touch with me. Vlada was a year above me, so our paths crossed a few times. I remember seeing her in a production of Les Belles Soeurs that Ros Hutt directed. Ros directed me in Dona Rosita, so Vlada and I had that in common at least. To be honest, I'm not sure that we ever spoke to one another. But for whatever reason, she remembered me when a role opened up on a project she was involved with. She was playing Eva Schloss - stepsister to Anne Frank. Their Anne Frank dropped out because she had a conflict. Vlada thought I would be great for the part. Of Anne Frank.
Anne Frank.
I got in touch with Nic - the director - right away. He was in Sri Lanka, but was eager to cast the part so agreed to an interview over Skype. He told me about the project. I don't want to give too many details here because nothing is set in stone, but I will say that this production will be touring around the world. It's not a scheduled tour, but this guy has incredible connections: top political figures and members of Hollywood kind of connections (Judi Dench and Ian McKellen, for example). He's been doing this show on and off for twelve years and has taken it to Scotland, China and South Africa. For this year he's talking about the U.S. and Sri Lanka. He's done it before so I imagine this isn't just talk! And it pays a little... £100 a performance, which isn't the West End but HELL! it's more than I make at the pub!
After the interview, he said that he was really glad we spoke.He liked my look and the quality of my voice. He was looking for someone who was naturally a bit like Anne: mature for her age while still very girly, authoritative but with the biggest heart. When she walked into a room, all eyes were on her. And he felt that I had those qualities. I was just so humbled to hear that that is the kind of impression that I can make on a person. I dream to be a person of those qualities, and someone felt that after talking with me for about half an hour. I started to feel so good about myself after that conversation. He liked me enough to send me the script. He said he would be in touch over the next couple of days.
So I did a reading. And he offered me the part.
I GOT THE JOB! (nod to any East 15 student who was taught by Christina)
I'm playing Anne Frank.
ANNE FRANK!!!!!!
That's going to be on my CV! The play isn't even about Anne, really. It's about the people who surrounded her throughout her life. But Nic even said that everyone remembers her because it's Anne Frank.
And rehearsals for Liliom are going really well! We open in two weeks and are in great shape!
And I got my new headshots. For the first time in a long time, I feel pretty. I have felt slumpy and ugly and I can now say it, unhappy. Now I feel rejuvenated and beautiful. I feel like I'm glowing.
Ori Jones did my headshots. She's an actor as well, and we spoke a lot about the ups and downs of a career. She said there was no such thing as a big break. People book big Hollywood roles all the time and then are never heard of again. Instead, there are just steps that you're always taking. Well I feel like I've just climbed a bit of a staircase. Who knows if or when I'll come across another, but for now, I have this one.
Relaunch indeed. Here I go.